Erin Michelle Smith

To expand on the math inherit within waves: Basic Math Wave A: amplitude and frequency 3 Wave B: amplitude and frequency 4 Mix both waves = 2 new waves each with amplitude 6 where new wave C has a frequency of 1 and new wave D has a frequency of 7. What this represents is simply by mixing the waves (no math needed), I have a difference (subtraction) |3-4|=1, addition 3+4=7, multiplication 3 * 4=(amplitude of either wave)*2=12. note: multiplication is a result of when the 2 new waves phase and [...]

Imagine this, just a kiss     with no symbolic embrace     to feed society's ugly face     no hidden intentions     or private expectations     nothing to reveal     and nothing to conceal     no one to be     just you and me Imagine this, just a kiss     that meant everything yet nothing at all     for the heart, there'd be no where to fall     a kiss with no love or hate     absolutely nothing to break     the world's jealousy     driven away by our complete honesty     I wonder if you ever [...]

So, I did warn you that I'd write about misc. ramblings - here is one of those. The last few nights I've been plagued by a recurring dream of a concept I want to first code and then make. A wave calculator. What is a wave calculator (this will come full circle)? I had this theory that if the fundamental building blocks of the Universe were based on particles, something we describe as wave functions, then all math - ALL OF IT (not just the addition/subtraction/multiplication/division described [...]

OK - I need to start posting other things than just negative. I really have past that point in my life it's just this blog is playing catchup. I'm in such an amazing place right now - it kind of feels too good to be true type of thing. So with that in mind, here is a Lullaby I wrote when my daughter was born. I use to read to her every night and we'd fall asleep to her lullabies. I loved how the simplest sounds could sooth the brain and that was my goal here. To Peyton Quinn (PQ) - with love! [...]

Recently, I learned that when I left the treatment center I had been attending, one of the doctors there contacted the VA about me. I don’t know the full details, and I don’t need to—what I did hear made it clear they were attempting to portray me as someone who couldn’t care for myself or set boundaries. What makes that claim especially ironic is that my decision to leave was because my boundaries were repeatedly crossed. One of the clearest examples was the “quiet eating” rule: thirty minutes [...]

Ok - here is one of my latest songs. Kind of just experimenting here with F and F# - that 1/2 tone step and then repeating it in different cords. not named yet 2023 Your browser does not support the audio element. Duration: 2:03 | Format: MP3 [...]

OK - this is the song that kind of was written at the same time as the poem - so I'm just going to title it the same. This apparently caused my mom to sell the piano (my only coping mechanism) - yet still never asked why my music was so angry or sad. I don't know if it would've made a difference though, as about this same time I started to front much more than Aaron and I didn't have the memories that he did. This is my take on Amazing Grace. It was my funeral march. At this time (I wrote this [...]

Content warning: suicide, depression, self-harm As I lay my comfortable numb body upon the ground My tired heart sickened from the sadness that is all around I start to dream of things that just wasn't meant to be Forgetting about my wrist and the blood that was running free I was falling, falling in to the cold darkness of a well Seeing images of me walking down my life's untouched trail I came upon a cliff so very high Oh, if I had only known how to fly Somebody please show me a way For my [...]

Content warning: suicide, depression, self-destruction For the tough guy      who no one shall tie      doing everything for the glory      causing all sorts of treachery Comes a silent tear One that is so dear For the tough guy      who gets so high      going out every night      just looking for a fight Comes a silent tear Quickly washed away with another beer For the tough guy      who makes the girls sigh      getting laid all the time      though it wasn't quite right in his mind Comes [...]

The following is a work in progress One      Today was going to be a great day! The morning sun peeked through the clouds, casting a warm, golden light over everything. The sky was huge, stretching forever in soft blues and whites. In the background, the familiar buzz of summer’s insects filled the air, little things darting about like they were in a hurry. Maybe they knew their time was short. Maybe that’s why they never stopped moving. But the river - the river - it never rushed. It just kept [...]